"I WISH I WAS WATER"

“Honey tell me” she asks now “why do you think people see aliens”

My face is in my hand and am shaking it, I say I’m sorry honey but go over there and please hide from me.

I sat her down and tried to explain. "Look honey" "I want you to ask yourself each time before you speak" "Is it making sense." If your answer to any of these question is "no," then whatever the thing is , no matter what, you are forbidden to tell me.
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One of my friends wanted to get couple of dogs, she says they are better than men.Ha
"baby, dogs cant love you, support you, go to bed with you, unless you are really desperate."
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Over there, in the corner, the girl who went to the washroom before calling out the order, That girl, walking with a small little hand bag in her hand or is that a dog.

Why don't I know her or someone like her. That girl, I bet, could make me very happy.
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"I can't remember," "What comes after C as in cat"
"No," it can't be D as in depression, but I prefer keeping my guesses to myself.
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I remember I used to drink Red Bull in the hope that it would energies me, that's how dumb I was.
Not too dumb, I think, the can said 'Energy drink.'
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My friend bought a DOKOMO Sim. When I asked why, he said, he liked the advert and wanted to have some fun with it, I think he forgot It's DOKOMO no DICKMO, but even if it was, why would he want to have fun with it, unless he's had a sex change recently that he wants to keep secret.
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I wish I was water, colorless, odorless and without a taste, and yet, no living can live without it.
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Our government office staff are not inefficient, they just don't want to work.

I was already tired and feeling a bit sick and they made me more tired and sick at canara bank. getting your job done quickly is not an easy task at non-private banks.Those who have been there know what I mean. When I went to this bank to withdraw some money they said “I cant withdraw” because it’s a minor account. I was like “What” it’s my account. They said the computer says I am a minor so they can’t honour the cheque.

“Don’t you fucking loose your temper on this,” I tell myself.

This sort of thing happens in these banks so I have to remain calm here. “if you don’t update your system, its none of my fault” I tell them. "We can’t do anything. We would need a photograph and your PAN card for verification."they say.( What the… I cant believe I am tolerating all this). I knew any explanation would be futile, and If I shout at them, I know for sure they’ll not do it even it’s an error on their part .

The only way out here is telling them, very politely that you really need money and addressing them as “SIR” telling sentences like “please sir”. It really works I say, 200 hundered years of colonialism and of addressing brits as "sir" if you didn’t want to get beaten up, it hasn’t changed a bit even after freedom.

So I said what I needed to, in a manner that I needed to. They told me to wait, in the mean time there was a man who was apparently denied payment too because he had written “seven thousand rupees only” in words which is incorrect as per the bank staff and he was supposed to write” seven thousand only”Ha.

I looked at my pen and thought there is a lot you can do with your pen like killing people, I was never going to do that ’I was just expressing an opinion.'

At times I can be verbally abusive. "No" "but really can't" "can't abuse them" "It wont have the effect" "To do that they'd have to know the language better, they'd have to know, first of all, what is a verb"

The Movie With Encapsulating Moments

When I was 12 my mom told me , "never judge a book by it's cover."
So when I was 22 I did.

After seeing "My name is Khan" I am forced to take back my views in my previous posts about this movie's promos. Yes, this Karn johar movie is predictable, yes, its also based in US but its filled with hair raising moments and great performances. My Name Is Khan is oddly compelling and at times riveting. The journey of Rizwan khan takes you on a 2.5 hrs emotional ride.

I am not going to talk about the story,screenplay,music as such . I liked the movie for it's encapsulating moments. Thus, I am going to tell you about that. I felt a little awkward to see the super star as an autistic person but after 5 minutes I started to love the character.


1. Kajol takes a chocolate from the table all ready to put it in the mouth glances over to shahrukh, shahrukh shakes his head and gestures like a fat person meaning "don't eat it, it will make you fat." Kajol puts it back on the table.

2. Shahrukh talking bout the usp of the product that he sells-kajol blocking his vision-shahrukh avoiding eye contact-finally meeting her eyes-kajol saying "I'll take it."

3.Shahrukh proposing to kajol while having haircut.

4.Kajol looks over San Francisco ( covered in early morning smoke), wearing her night suit, says "Marry Me" to shahrukh and audience all goes "Awwww."

5.Shahrukh telling Kajol - he has read "intercourse For dumbos" that he knows everything about sex - on their wedding night.

6. Shahrukh goes to a fund raising event for African children where he'll get the chance to meet the President, gives $500 required to have dinner with the President. The lady doesn't let him go inside, since, its a Christian only event and returns the money. Shahrukh then tells her to keep it for non Christian african children.

This is probably the first movie where Shahrukh doesn't lip sync. I have to say Karan johar has come of age , it's not a very powerfull movie but still spreads the msg of peace and communal harmony powerfully. If you don't go expecting too much from the movie then you will not be disapointed.

If you happened to like the song "Tere Naina" you'll start loving it after watching the movie.

Oh shit ! It's Valentines Day Again !!!!!

There was a time when one heard only of teacher’s day and children’s day. Today we are flooded with special days. There is Valentine ’s Day, friendship’s day, boss’s day, mother’s day, father’s day, veteran’s day- you name it you got it.
Valentine’s Day, one of the most popular special days which has caught on like fire. We have little or no connection with this occasion; yet, the response to Valentine’s Day in India has resulted in sales of cards and gifts that, I am told, surpasses even those of diwali!

There is now a special day for every relationship, each one designated for us tell our girlfriends/boyfriends mother’s, father’s, or whoever how much we love them , not of course by picking up the telephone and expressing our feelings, not even by writing a letter, but by sending cards, flowers, chocolates or gifts of one sort or another.

What we are witnessing is blatant commercialization of emotion. Its obvious that whole idea of having special days has stemmed from greeting card companies and producer’s of such thing as gifts , perfumes and confectionery. Cynics may sniff contemptuously about people falling for these marketing gimmicks but the truth of the matter is they won’t have succeeded had the ground in which the card companies sowed their seeds not been ultra fertile . Perhaps, as people live a busier life and spend less time their loved ones, they fel the need to assuage their guilt by making a fuss over them or perhaps with more money in their pockets, they welcome a new avenue of spending.

How one wonders, are these special days chosen! I dare say not, How do the greeting card companies decide which day eill be dedicated to which member of the family? When should boss be honoured and when the secretary? The answer—just follow the west…

We have also made our own indigenous offering: “Karva Chouth” as husband’s day “Bhaiya Dooj” as brothers day, and “Jamai Shasthi” as son-in-law’s day. So far traditionally we can look forward to their being jazzed up and with cards and sweets! but I’m afraid that no foreign company is inclined to take those days in their country.