Have you ever tried to kill yourself? Not that I am suggesting, but you know, like a passing thought. I mean, has it ever crossed your mind? The idea of killing yourself, because if it did, and if you did try to kill yourself, you’d be called being suicidal. They have a name for this in psychology, I can’t quite remember. It’s a funny name, some sort of psychiatric name for hopelessness. They say it’s out of depression or I don’t know may be because you have been sitting around doing nothing, except for putting on weight.
All right, then, what would you use? An Italian stiletto to slice your wrist or a jump from the roof, perhaps, or sleeping pills? Yeah! Sleeping pills that will put you to sleep forever, but there is every chance of you not dying at all, and you might end up waking up convulsing in a hospital room surrounded by flowers and friends and relatives who are looking at you with over-eager eyes but are really fuming inside, for you have ruined their other wise fine day. Gosh! That’s embarrassing. You might as well have died. You see, death must be grand. Grandeur never ceases to amaze people. We plan for possibly everything that we can, except for the most certain thing in our life.
The fastest way is to strangulate yourself, but that will take lot of set-up time, a rope, a chair, hangman’s noose, and something to hang it to. After all that you are not even sure whether you are goanna get it right. That’s hard work, I say. And I have always believed, ‘why work hard for something you are not getting paid for,’ and besides many celebrities have hanged themselves to death so it’s pretty boring. Isn’t it?
I am not depressed, I suppose; or perhaps I am and I just don’t know it yet. I guess I must be really depressed to write something like that. I don’t know. I haven’t proofread it yet, and I am not going to read it again. No, not this piece, not this time. But it sure though looks like a wretched piece of shit, the way its going. It certainly isn’t what I sat down to write. I wanted to write a joke, something funny. This, however, looks pitiful, like a guy whose life is spent heartbroken or in contemptuous desolation. Desolation! Yeah, that’s the word. It means bleak and empty. Apposite, I guess. Honestly, I don’t have a fucking clue what I am writing. But I am writing all the same. It’s frustrating. I mean, it’s like you go into the bathroom to brush your teeth and end up cleaning the wash basin with toothpaste. Sometimes I feel I am not fun anymore, like an old whore who falls asleep half way through sex.
Have you ever read a bare act or statute? When they amend it they add a proviso to it. I like the way it begins, ‘notwithstanding anything contained in this act,’ it means whatever you’ve read so far can go to hell, for what you are going to read will over-rule everything. I wish life was like that, where you can amend things and over-rule everything.
Animals never kill themselves. It’s the species with smarter brains that do. That brings me back to the topic of killing myself. Oh! Don’t worry. I am not going to kill myself, I wasn’t going to; it’s just a thought. I am sorry if I scared you. I am just venting. A shrink once told me, ‘you have to vent, let go,’ he said, ‘ take a deep breath and now hold on to it . . . keep holding on to it. Do you feel suffocated?’
I gave him a sluggish nod. ‘Now let go,’ he said, ‘do you feel relaxed?’ of course I do you fucking nut job, my lungs have oxygen now. But I got the point. I need to let go. I have found a good way, I say. Just write . . . anything that comes to my mind, no matter how fucking useless that is, for I can’t be taking it out on people. When I am displeased I shouldn’t be displeasing others. It’s easy to take it out on people, say few harsh words. Sure, if I condemn others it will relieve my feelings, but what will I get out of it. A hollow sense of pride, a feeling that I can be just as cruel; and what have I given, a boiled sense of resentment, hurt, pain and possibly no respect left for me either. Oh! Enough for now. Eh? Okay, let’s have a vote: reasons to kill myself? Do you really think I am goanna give up my life just because I have been feeling low? Naah! Not really. I think I am goanna stick to reasons to live and that’s aplenty. Like this jaded post, a reason to be pissed off. Let’s find a reason to be happy. A way not to hate but a way how to love.
-For a dear friend
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
The insider story on Mumbai Bomb blast
Yes, it is the insider’s story of the Mumbai bomb blasts. Who is the insider? I am the insider. When I went inside the Prime minister’s house I couldn’t find Manmohan Singh, he had gone to Sonia Gandhi’s house to deliver pet bottles of mineral water along with a fresh Omelet made from his own hands and European apple salad that he would claim his own too. After the bomb blast in Mumbai, they had arranged a meeting with Barak Obama, who hunted down Osama in Pakistan, to discuss the issues of terrorism in India. And I secretly hid behind the curtains, I was sure nobody will suspect because walls have ears but curtains don’t.
When Manmohan singh took Obama inside the prime minister’s house, he started introducing him with the people inside the room. ‘He is my finance minister Mr Pranab Mukherjee, Manmohan singh said. Pranab comes forward to greet Obama.
‘hello sir.’
‘Why are you spitting on me, man! Obama says.
Manmohan sing interrupts, ‘he is not spitting, that’s his specialty sir, he is like your dog, loyal and full of froth. Anyway come here and meet our home minister Mr. Chitambaram.’
‘What is he wearing,’ Obama asks.
‘He is wearing dhoti, you remember Mahatma Gandhi who ran around the country half naked wearing only this, to shoo British away, tats our traditional dress sir, sort of trouser only, just not stitched, that’s all. Okay come here, he is my financial adviser, Mr Aluwalia, potato fellow, looks like a potato too, haha. And Mr. Kapil sibbal, who is handling our anti lokpal bill, sorry, anti corruptions bill, what to do truth comes out. Meet our general secretary Soniya ji, very intelligent sir, she is Italian and she likes all the American songs.’
When asked why doesn’t Manmohan singh make a public statement, an assurance of sorts like he does in America, Sonia Gandhi interrupts and says, ‘he is trying hard to get to the bottom of it, really busy with that issue itself.’ That was not quite accurate, that was more like saying he doesn’t know what he is talking about or he shouldn’t say a word because he looks stupid.
‘Hey Manmohan, what can I say? You must have vigilant intelligence and strong security systems to stop these attacks.’
‘Sir, we have everything, from smart intelligence to patriotic policemen to a strong army to lots of ambulances, we also have prime minister’s relief fund from which we give compensation packages to victims and homicides.’
‘Then, why don’t you use them to prevent attacks.’
‘You haven’t heard that saying. Have you? If it ain’t broke why fix it. Anyway, tell me how did you manage to get so much money to bail out American banks. I know I know. Printing extra notes, right? We do it sometimes, and then we deposit them in Swiss banks.’
‘I thought we were going to discuss terrorism.’
‘Oh come on! You think this is some sort of news channel that we’ll talk about terrorism and the spirit of Mumbai. That we’ll call some poor chaiwallah from the streets of Mumbai who will cry and tell his tragic story in Hindi on an English news channel and win great journalism awards. No! That’s media’s job, it’s time for us to relax. Thank god we had couple of train accidents and now this bomb blast, this will distract the media from anti-corruption bill and the one lakh crore treasure of travancore that we found.’
‘Oh cool! You are just like us, now I can be myself and stop pretending like Theodore Roosevelt. But hey! You look kind of weird, you know, you must look firm and why don’t you use your hands, like I do, you know, it’s called body language, you must have personality and stuff man!’ Obama says.
‘I was working really hard to get that noble prize for peace sir, with my peaceful demeanor and having not attacked Pakistan even after 26/11. I really thought I was in with a chance, but you stole it and then killed Osama, anyway congratulations for winning sir.’ Manmohan sing responds holding two glasses of Johnny walker scotch.
‘I heard you arrested this yoga guru. Why? Yoga is one of the two best things your country ever gave America, the other being Kamasutra, of course.’
‘We had to do something about this Ramdev phenomena, for starters he was fighting against corruption and due to his yoga gyan our Soldiers were turning into vegetarians sir, which is not a good news, how are we going to fight with fifty million meat eating Pakistani’s with our stomachs full of plants, I heard their soldiers carry large stocks of chickens, goats, and lambs with them. And their government gives out free alcohol on the border, sir. The only time we give out free alcohol is when we have the elections.’
That’s when Chidambaram cuts him short and says, ‘we must get back to the point.’
‘Yes yes, sir, he is also a vegetarian no, he is very similar to your predecessor George Bush, both of them have had shoes thrown at them by journalists. haha’
‘So what are you going to do about terrorism in India, Manmohan.’
‘Arey don’t you follow news, especially the controversial ones. Rahul baba has said at news a conference that 1% of the attacks will get through. Something’s wrong with the city I tell you, first, after 1993 attacks we changed its name to Mumbai from Bombay, you see, the name made it the centre of attraction, Bom-bay. Bomb-ay. But still it has had bomb blasts, but it’s alright, Rahul baba has already said, one percent of the attacks will get through.’
Potato fellow comes and says, ‘sir media people have come, India wants answers. One of them had said.’
‘I think I have to leave you sir, you heard it. India wants answers.’
‘Are you nervous, Manmohan.’
‘I am not nervous. Quite frankly, I am not concerned about India’s security sir.Here people need things to talk about. Here people spend more time standing in queues than worry about security. Here people are more concerned about buying bread than security. Here people spend more time watching cricket or a movie than worry about security. Sir it’s India, after all, it’s a country of crazy people. Here people die. They die everyday. Some from train accidents, some from bomb blasts, some from hunger, some from too much food, some die because don’t have money, some because of too much money. You see, India is a country of rats. We run for our lives, until we find a hole for ourselves to hide in . . . Sheltered, cloistered . . . afraid. They call me the most honest man in India sir, but I am one of them, I am also a rat,’ Manmohan said and walked away.
When Manmohan singh took Obama inside the prime minister’s house, he started introducing him with the people inside the room. ‘He is my finance minister Mr Pranab Mukherjee, Manmohan singh said. Pranab comes forward to greet Obama.
‘hello sir.’
‘Why are you spitting on me, man! Obama says.
Manmohan sing interrupts, ‘he is not spitting, that’s his specialty sir, he is like your dog, loyal and full of froth. Anyway come here and meet our home minister Mr. Chitambaram.’
‘What is he wearing,’ Obama asks.
‘He is wearing dhoti, you remember Mahatma Gandhi who ran around the country half naked wearing only this, to shoo British away, tats our traditional dress sir, sort of trouser only, just not stitched, that’s all. Okay come here, he is my financial adviser, Mr Aluwalia, potato fellow, looks like a potato too, haha. And Mr. Kapil sibbal, who is handling our anti lokpal bill, sorry, anti corruptions bill, what to do truth comes out. Meet our general secretary Soniya ji, very intelligent sir, she is Italian and she likes all the American songs.’
When asked why doesn’t Manmohan singh make a public statement, an assurance of sorts like he does in America, Sonia Gandhi interrupts and says, ‘he is trying hard to get to the bottom of it, really busy with that issue itself.’ That was not quite accurate, that was more like saying he doesn’t know what he is talking about or he shouldn’t say a word because he looks stupid.
‘Hey Manmohan, what can I say? You must have vigilant intelligence and strong security systems to stop these attacks.’
‘Sir, we have everything, from smart intelligence to patriotic policemen to a strong army to lots of ambulances, we also have prime minister’s relief fund from which we give compensation packages to victims and homicides.’
‘Then, why don’t you use them to prevent attacks.’
‘You haven’t heard that saying. Have you? If it ain’t broke why fix it. Anyway, tell me how did you manage to get so much money to bail out American banks. I know I know. Printing extra notes, right? We do it sometimes, and then we deposit them in Swiss banks.’
‘I thought we were going to discuss terrorism.’
‘Oh come on! You think this is some sort of news channel that we’ll talk about terrorism and the spirit of Mumbai. That we’ll call some poor chaiwallah from the streets of Mumbai who will cry and tell his tragic story in Hindi on an English news channel and win great journalism awards. No! That’s media’s job, it’s time for us to relax. Thank god we had couple of train accidents and now this bomb blast, this will distract the media from anti-corruption bill and the one lakh crore treasure of travancore that we found.’
‘Oh cool! You are just like us, now I can be myself and stop pretending like Theodore Roosevelt. But hey! You look kind of weird, you know, you must look firm and why don’t you use your hands, like I do, you know, it’s called body language, you must have personality and stuff man!’ Obama says.
‘I was working really hard to get that noble prize for peace sir, with my peaceful demeanor and having not attacked Pakistan even after 26/11. I really thought I was in with a chance, but you stole it and then killed Osama, anyway congratulations for winning sir.’ Manmohan sing responds holding two glasses of Johnny walker scotch.
‘I heard you arrested this yoga guru. Why? Yoga is one of the two best things your country ever gave America, the other being Kamasutra, of course.’
‘We had to do something about this Ramdev phenomena, for starters he was fighting against corruption and due to his yoga gyan our Soldiers were turning into vegetarians sir, which is not a good news, how are we going to fight with fifty million meat eating Pakistani’s with our stomachs full of plants, I heard their soldiers carry large stocks of chickens, goats, and lambs with them. And their government gives out free alcohol on the border, sir. The only time we give out free alcohol is when we have the elections.’
That’s when Chidambaram cuts him short and says, ‘we must get back to the point.’
‘Yes yes, sir, he is also a vegetarian no, he is very similar to your predecessor George Bush, both of them have had shoes thrown at them by journalists. haha’
‘So what are you going to do about terrorism in India, Manmohan.’
‘Arey don’t you follow news, especially the controversial ones. Rahul baba has said at news a conference that 1% of the attacks will get through. Something’s wrong with the city I tell you, first, after 1993 attacks we changed its name to Mumbai from Bombay, you see, the name made it the centre of attraction, Bom-bay. Bomb-ay. But still it has had bomb blasts, but it’s alright, Rahul baba has already said, one percent of the attacks will get through.’
Potato fellow comes and says, ‘sir media people have come, India wants answers. One of them had said.’
‘I think I have to leave you sir, you heard it. India wants answers.’
‘Are you nervous, Manmohan.’
‘I am not nervous. Quite frankly, I am not concerned about India’s security sir.Here people need things to talk about. Here people spend more time standing in queues than worry about security. Here people are more concerned about buying bread than security. Here people spend more time watching cricket or a movie than worry about security. Sir it’s India, after all, it’s a country of crazy people. Here people die. They die everyday. Some from train accidents, some from bomb blasts, some from hunger, some from too much food, some die because don’t have money, some because of too much money. You see, India is a country of rats. We run for our lives, until we find a hole for ourselves to hide in . . . Sheltered, cloistered . . . afraid. They call me the most honest man in India sir, but I am one of them, I am also a rat,’ Manmohan said and walked away.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Greatest movie list of all time by the greatest critic of all time
Okay, not the greatest list of all time, and also not by the greatest critic of all time, but it’s a list, and we all have lists, we already have about a zillion lists.We all know that lists are shit, but we must have them, for I believe, if everybody’s a king then who is the king. Eh? Critics will give you all kinds of reasons why such movie is the greatest, now that reason will be basically based on their ideologies, interests, understanding, taste and state of mind. So we should not compare movies, especially of different generations, but that isn’t going to stop me. Is it ?
So I am going to present to you my very own biased list of top movies, no, it’s not biased, it’s not the list of my favorite movies but the list of best movies.
I would like to thank Rohan Dave for introducing me to the classics, and Rishi Ondhia for giving me all the horror flick DVD’s, and Deepak Soni with whom I saw all the dude movies and also to all the girls who accompanied me to romantic comedies and animation movies, and a special thanks to my dad who took me to a play called ‘Muawza’ by Bhism Sahini when I was 15..
My apologies to these movies, for I haven’t seen them, Lawrence of Arabia, Citizen Cane, Benhur, Apocalypso Now, Space odysy 2001, Dr Strangelove, Rear Window. They couldn’t make the list.
Top ten movies of all time
10. The lord of the rings. The return of the kings
Dir: Peter Jackson
One of my favorite director, who also gave us king kong that nobody talks about which I think was as good a Avatar if not better. This movies won 11 oscars and is a classic. This movie is what I call doing the impossible. The books were too huge and too complex to be made into a movie unlike Harry Potter which is more screenplay and less writing. Peter Jackson take a bow.
9. Vertigo
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
There was a big fight among Psycho, Vertigo and North and northwest. I am still not sure if I have made the right choice. He is known as the king of suspense and mystery. I’ll tell you what he should be known as king of drama and intrigue. I am yet to see rear window. I’ve heard a lot about it. What’s remarkable in vertigo is that it doesn’t take you by surprise and nothing is hid from the audience. ‘I don’t believe in suspense like a mystery novel where the reader gets to the last page out of curiosity and does not go through emotions.’- Hitchcock
8. Inception/The dark knight
Dir:Christopher Nolan
'Don't talk like you're one of them! You're not... even if you'd like to be. To them you're just a freak, like me. They need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out. Like a leper. See, their morals, their "code"... it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these uh, these "civilized people", they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve'
Excuse me people, I’d like to direct your attention towards the most original, and innovative, and probably the best director of modern times. Mr. Christopher Nolan.
The dark Knight or Inception, The dark Knight or Inception. These were the thought going into my head, although I agree that dark knight was more complete movie than inception. With breath taking performances from Heath Ledger
7. Forest Gump
Directed By Robert Zemeckis
A man who’s IQ is 75, doesn’t understand war but becomes a part of it, wins medal of honour, all of a sudden realizes he has tremendous running skills, enters white house 3 times, becomes a major shareholder, and not for a single moment you would ask for justification. Tom hanks plays the most endearing character, so much so that I am tempted to say it’s a godly performance from him.
6. Raging bull
Dir: Martin Scorsese
Here comes the dude of all time, Robert Deniro. And another dude of all time Joe Pesci and another dude of all time Martin Scorsese. They get together and create Raging Bull, Casino and goodfellas. Raging bull is a cult classic directed by my favorite. Its an incredible movie. It’s a story of a boxer who is raw and talented but then turns into a self obsessed, paranoid man who loses everything but his pride. The depiction of boxer LaMotta and then of a retired corpulent boxer is amazingly portrayed by Robert Deniro. Since films release varying interpretations have been made of the way it’s been shot and it symbolism. Here the monologue by deniro sitting in front of the mirror.
5. Schindler’s list
Dir: Steven Spielberg
Dark, sobering and also invigoratingly dramatic,’Schindler’s list’ will make terrifying sense to anyone, anywhere.-N.Y.Times. That sort of sums it up. I have personally liked everything that the man has made The Jurassic series, jaws, minority report, Indiana jones, the terminal. There is no doubt that he is best director in the industry. A businessman comes to war spoiled Poland and becomes a super hero. It’s haunting and heroic at the same time. Tremendous camara angles, the real looks even more real. Spielberg’s best work till date.
4. Annie hall
Dir: Woody Allen
Annie: ‘That’s so clean out here.’
Alvy: ‘that’s because they don’t throw their garbage away, they turn it into Television shows.’
‘Don’t you see the rest of the country looks upon New-York like, we are left wing, communists, jewish, homosexuals, pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.’
Clever and classic, I read it’s screenplay before I saw the movie, and I was blown away. What’s extraordinary is that how your cheeks and stomach hurt out of laughing so much. Its satirical, irreverent and real. Alvy singer played by Allen says, ‘I’d never belong to a club that would have me as member.’ Which simply means, how you can expect the society to accept you when you cannot accept yourself ?
3. The godfather
Dir: Francis Ford Coppola
One day Mario Puzo, Francis Ford Coppola and Marlon Brando got together to indulge in a project that will keep multitudes of filmmakers intrigued and fascinated over generations at the greatness of their work. In the movie nothing is what it seems. War of mafia families, double crosses, standing by your family, standing by your word. That’s the heart of the movie. It’s innovative and riveting the way the killing have been shot. It sets a benchmark for compelling storytelling. It’s needless to say it’s more than a mafia film.
If you want to learn film-making, watch it, and watch it again, and watch it over and over again.
2. China town
Dir: Roman Polanski
Why is china town rated better than godfather, you want to ask? Because china town is original, that’s your answer. Flawless. Flaw-less, I have to say it again.. Not even a singe error. Thrilling, intriguing, shocking, high voltage drama. Roman Polanski takes a detective story and turns into brilliance. Mr. J.J. Gittes, played magnificently by Jack Nicholson is a detective trying to solve infidelity cases and stumbles on a case where drinking water is going to be drawn out of LA and then as plot reveals itself, turns into much more complex drama, as the major conflicts grow deeper, a more darker secret would unveils, that will be as shocking a the word. The controversial climax is an act of bravery and takes the movie to a insurmountable heights.
1. The Shawshank Redemption
Written and directed by : Frank Darabont
Rating: Beyond 5 stars
‘Remember, Red, hope is a good thing, may be the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.’
‘I have no idea to this day what they were
Aah… can’t say a word. It’s beyond words. Beyond description. A triumph . . . Ineffable . . . Hope, our biggest strength, which give us faith and belief , hope, that makes you wake up every morning, with a belief that you can be what you can to be… Beautifully written, perhaps the best written scripts ever. A masterpiece that captures the drama of friendship, resilience and hope.
Screw Oscars for not voting for it. The movie has encapsulating moments. When red, Morgan freeman searches the fields for Andy’s, Tim Robbins, and what he finds under the stone, that scene will make your blood scream into your veins, and your body will explode with emotion, and your heart will be filled with joy.
'I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't wanna know. Some things are best left unsaid. I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful it can't be expressed in words, and it makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you those voices soared, higher and farther than anybody in a grey place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made these walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free.'
‘Fear can hold you prisoner, hope can set you free.’
My favorites but missed my list
10. Closer
9. King Kong
8. Tropic thuder
7. Pulp fiction
6. Rainman
5. The Aviator,
4. The Pursuit of Happiness
3. Philadelphia
2. Little miss sunshine
1. Taxi driver
Top ten Horror movies of all time
It’s a genre that hasn’t hat too much respect from the Industry nor from festivals and awards, But I believe it’s the most exiting genre of movies. No body likes being scared but we still want to do things that scare us, we want to get out adrenalin pumping. It’s such a rush, I tell you. Two weeks ago I saw 40 minutes of The Shining and it was chilling, I couldn’t see it because my friend was too scared to watch anymore, so it couldn’t make the list.
10. Friday the 13
9. The omen
8. The Texas chainsaw massacare
7. Hellraiser
6. The exorcism of Emily rose
5. A nightmare of Elm Street
4. Grudge
3. The silence of the lambs
2. The sixth sense
1. Paranormal Activities
My favorites but missed my list
5. The ring
4. Jeepers creepers
3. The exorcist
2. SAW
1. The orphan
Top 10 super hero movies
10.The incredable hulk
9.Batman returns
8.X-men origins
7.Superman returns
6.Batman begins
5.X-2
4.Batman
3.Iron Man
2.King kong
1.The dark night
My favorite movies but missed my list
My favorites are in the list, so to speak. Sorry guys. Spiderman is not a movie. It’s something you do when you have nothing else to do.
Top ten animation movies of all time
It all started with Ducktales and Mowgali, story that had griiping storyline and tremendous fun, and all the following movies are equally good as any non-animation movies, if not better. How some animated characters have the ability to make you cry laugh and wonder at genius.
10. Shrek
9. Cars
8. Kung Fu Panda
7. Finding Nemo
6. The Incredibles
5. Wall-E
4. Madagascar
3. Toy Story 1
2. Toy story 2
1. Toy story 3
Top ten Romcoms
My apologies to Mr. woody allen for not having seen Hannah and her sisters and Manhattan and also to My big fat Greek wedding, As good as it gets, and Scent of a woman. I am pretty sure some of them would have made it to the list.
10. One fine day
9. Along came polly
8. The break up
7. P.S. I love you
6. Bridget jones diary
5. love actually
4. Serendipity
4. Moulin rouge
3. Shakespeare in love
2. Pretty woman
1. Sleepless in Seatle
My favorite movies but missed my list
10. tom cruise canaroon diaz
9. Emma
8. The Duke
7. No stings attached
6. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
5. Four wedding a and a funeral
4. Runaway bride
3. 50 first dates
2. French kiss
1. When harry met sally
Top 10 bollywood movies of all time
Every attempt that I made to get to the ‘best’ movies of all time and not ‘my’ favorite movies of all time has endeavored to arrive at modification and thereafter some more modifications until I came to a point where I couldn’t decide, because how can I make the list without having seen Pyasa, Kagaz ke phool, Sahib bibi aur ghulam, Madhumati, Awaara, Salaam Bombay, Satyakam and Ardhsatya. What’s worse is that I have seen bits of each and they are brilliant.
My apologies to Mr. Ray, I know you’ve won an Oscar but I can’t include your movies in the hindi language category, which makes my job easier. It really pains not to include Mother India, Pakeezah, Mera Naam Joker. It’s a pity that Bollywood cinema is still known as just song and dance, let’s send them this list. Shall we?
.
10. lage raho munnabhai
Dir: Raj Kumar Hirani
Remove the songs and I’ll put you couple of steps further. Coming From the best Director of modern time Raju Hirani. This really transpired that you don’t need big complex, intriguing drama to become a cult classic. He is possibly the worst director as far as cinematography is concerned, but who’s complaining. If your movies grosses 450 crores in four weeks(recall 3 Idiots), you’ve got to have talent. I call him the Hrishikesh Mukhejee of modern time. In this movie he maks you laugh and cry every 5 minutes. This surpassed it’s prequel that in itself was a cult.
9. Dil Chahta hai
Dir: Farhaan Akhtar
Brave. Path-breaking. Revolutionary, World cinema . . . I have seen it seven times and now after ten years I have even more respect for it because lot of directors tried to re-create the same effect but failed miserably. And it still continues to inspire filmmakers. An actor who had zero style content, Aamir khan, became a school of cool. Saf ali khan made a living out of that movie, and India accepted a beautiful love story between a young boy and a middle aged lady. That was what Farhan Akhtar created with his first movie.
8. Masoom
Dir : Shekhar Kapoor
His first movie and possibly the worse as far a technicality is concerned. But after this he would go on to make Mr India and Elizabeth. With great music by R.D. Burman. It is one of the most loving movies of all time. It’s a sweet movie revolving around a boy rahul played by jugal hansraj. There are heart wrenching scenes in the movie. It has awe-inspiring performances by Naseer and Shabana. It’s a movie with a heart and a soul. All the actors have done an outstanding role in movie.
7. Maqbool
Dir: Vishal Bhardwaj
Pure magic.... In every sense of the word . . . Vishal Bhardwaz is india’s tarrentino, screw tarentino, he is way better than tarrentino. Best adapted screenplay ever written in india. He is a director of class, and a brilliant dialogue writer. Adapted from Macbeth, the story is put into an Indian mafia family. Vishal bhardwaz does a brilliant job at the Back ground score of the movie. It has legendary performance by Tabbu . I can’t believe the same guy made 7 Khoon Maaf, his worst effort till date. Here is the first scene of Omkara, where langda tyagi says….
‘Chutia aur bewkoof me dhaage bhar ke farak, dhaage ke engee chutia aur ongee bewkoof. Aur jo dhaaga khench lo toh kon chutia aur kon bewkoof sau karor ka prasan. Par tu toh bewkoof hega, chutia toh aadmi shaadi ke baad howe hai, aur teri toh shaadi honi ni.’
6. Guide
Dir: Vijay Anand
Guide has beaten Sisila, Lamhe, Choti si baat, and arth to get this place. A story written by india’s greatest writer ever R K Narayan. This movie is a masterpiece. ‘Man does not die it is only the body that dies the soul remains forever.’ This is the last dialogue of the movie. It was set to be partly english and partly hindi movie to be produced by an indo-american venture but due to differences it was postponed and later dropped then vijay anand stepped in to direct.
5. Black Friday
Dir: Anuraag Kasyap
2006, enter Anurag kashyap to change Bollywood cinema forever. You send this movie to Oscars and it will win an award straight away. Bsed on 93 bomb blast in Mumbai, this was banned for 2 years because the case was under litigation, and they though this movie will influence people or perhaps cause riots or something. Mature as our governments are this is not surprising. A real story told in the most gripping style possible. Woderful performance from K.K Menon and other less renowned actors. This movie is a gem, better than Satya, and Parzania.
4. Jaane bhi do yaroon
Dir: Kundan Shah
‘Kisi desh ki unnati ki pehchan agar kisi cheeze se hoti hai toh wo hai gutter, wo gutter ke liye jiye aur gutter kr liye mare. Marte Marte unke Akhari shabd the, ‘gutter.’
‘mujhe pata hai aapki aankho me kya hai…ek model banane ka sapna…aur inko dekho ye jab hamare studio me aayi thi toh burqa pehen ke aayi thi’
Innovative, satirical, intriguing, sharp, breathless, and hillarios. When I first saw this I couldn’t stop laughing. But on a broader sense, I realized it was much more than a laugh riot, death of morality, succumbing to hunger, This is, one of those movies that’s weak in every department of film-making and yet never ceases to amaze you. . . A god of cult.
‘Theher papi!! theher! Mein teri zubaam khich lunga!!
‘Abe shaant! Gadadhari bhim!shaant!’
‘adharmi papi tera satyanash ho!’
‘maine vastraharan ka idea drop kar diya hai’
‘abe kaun hai be tu?’
‘aankho se agyaan ki patti utaar ke dekh!’
‘oye dhitarastra ke putar! Dropadi ko wasp kar vo mere saath jayegi!’
‘oye dropadi tere akele ki nai hai!ham sab shareholders hai!’
‘oye chal oye, paalan toh hamne kabhi apne baap ki agya ka bhi nai kiya!’
‘oye chup oye arjun singh!, ye le, tere dhanush ban ki toh!’
‘shaant! gadadhari bhim shaant!’
‘Thehro! Thehro! Thehro!’
‘nalayak!adharmi!durachari!somethingchaari!brashtachaari!bolo sorry! Apne sasur ko nahi jaanta main hu dropadi ka baap!’
‘jai ho! Jai ho ! jai ho !’
3. Lagaan
Dir: Ashutosh gawarikar
Do I really need to say anything about it? Cinema that changed the way west looked at us. A movie that gave way to new ideologies, new beliefs . I love the treatment of the movie. What’s amazing is that you knew the villagers’ are goanna win it, you knew no matter what? Bhuwan’s gonna hit that six of the last ball. You knew it will be another underdog story with a triumphant climax, but still the journey of 3.5 hours was worth it. Probably the best movie in last 25 years. I really think it should have won in the foreign language category, all A-listers of Hollywood voted for it, except the jury.Ha.
2. Anand
Dir: Hrishikesh Mukerjee
'Life should be big not long.'
‘ babumoshay, jindaga aur maut uparwale ke hath hai jahapana, jise na aap badalsakte hai na mein. hum sab to rangmanch ki katputlia hai, jiski door uparwale ke haath bandhi hai KAB KAUN KAISE UTHEGA YE KOI NAHI JANTA.'
Sometimes cost of happiness costs us happiness. It doesn’t always help to know it all, have it all, because you are as happy as you want to be. And the best way to be happy is to share it, just as Hrishikesh Mukerjee shared it then, as I am sharing it now.
Here is our response to ‘It’s a wonderful life.’ I was heartbroken when I first saw this. But this movie teaches you a lesson that life is beautiful and it is for living. Without a shadow of a doubt hrishikesh Mukherjee is one of the finest storytellers of all time, with movies like Chupke chupke, Golmaal, Abhimaan, Bawarchi and Satyakam, But as far as I am concerned Anand is his best film.
1. Mughl-E-Azam
Year: 1960
Dir: k. Asif
Budget: 1,50,00,000($3,000,000)
In the year 1960, something incredible happened, an eccentric man made the Eight wonder of the world, a movie that will break all the records in movies costs and also set the box office on fire, making it worth every minute of the nine years it took to make it.
It brought grandeur on the screen, lavish sets, renowned craftsmen from delhi and surat came to stitch costumes for the movie, jewelry that Madhubala wore were made of pure gold and diamonds, a battle sequence was shot with 2000 camels, 4000 horses, and 8000 troops, soldiers were taken on loan from Indian army. It had meticulous performances form Dilip Kumar, Prithviraj Kapoor and Madhubala.
The greatest Mughal Emreror, Akbar would pray for his successor and on hearing the birth of his son promise his maid who brought the news, a wish, whose daughter, Anarkali and his son, Salim would fall hopelessly in love which the empreror will despise, however, despite his protestations salim, in order to get his love, would fight a colossal battle with his father, only to lose and to be death sentenced along with Anarkali. That is when the maid, Anarkali’s mother will exercise her wish to save her daughters life, who will be secretly transported outside the kingdom. The Emperor out of love for his son would tell him that Anarkali has been killed to get his son back. And both the lovers will live a life of longing and separation. A tale of jealousy, love, honour, trust, betrayal and a promise.
My favorite movies but missed my list
1. Don (Amitabh Bachhan)
2. Rang de basanti
3. Andaaz apna apna
4. Arth
5. Omkara
6. Swades
7. Silsila
8. Satya
9. Deewar
10. Sholey
Epilogue: What are movies ? A way to tell stories Or an Ambiguity ? Why do we like movies? Is what played before us real ? Of course, it’s not ? The actors are, but the behavior isn’t ? There are explosions, people are getting killed, there’s a boy in love with the girl, men turn into lovers and psychos. It’s all fiction, and we know it, then why do we go through pain, and anger, and happiness and fear while watching them . . . Because it’s us, and when we watch it, we become part of it, the real we, not the one living in the society but the one that is only known to us. The one who feels bad when goodness is tormented, ideologies are killed, righteousness is played, and feels good when the good wins over the evil. That’s why we love movies, as Hitchcock said, when a painter draws a painting of apples and trees, he is not interested in the apples or trees but he wants the audience to go through certain emotions while seeing them, that’s what cinemas do.
A simple act of pretence becomes real, that’s the power of movies.
So I am going to present to you my very own biased list of top movies, no, it’s not biased, it’s not the list of my favorite movies but the list of best movies.
I would like to thank Rohan Dave for introducing me to the classics, and Rishi Ondhia for giving me all the horror flick DVD’s, and Deepak Soni with whom I saw all the dude movies and also to all the girls who accompanied me to romantic comedies and animation movies, and a special thanks to my dad who took me to a play called ‘Muawza’ by Bhism Sahini when I was 15..
My apologies to these movies, for I haven’t seen them, Lawrence of Arabia, Citizen Cane, Benhur, Apocalypso Now, Space odysy 2001, Dr Strangelove, Rear Window. They couldn’t make the list.
Top ten movies of all time
10. The lord of the rings. The return of the kings
Dir: Peter Jackson
One of my favorite director, who also gave us king kong that nobody talks about which I think was as good a Avatar if not better. This movies won 11 oscars and is a classic. This movie is what I call doing the impossible. The books were too huge and too complex to be made into a movie unlike Harry Potter which is more screenplay and less writing. Peter Jackson take a bow.
9. Vertigo
Dir: Alfred Hitchcock
There was a big fight among Psycho, Vertigo and North and northwest. I am still not sure if I have made the right choice. He is known as the king of suspense and mystery. I’ll tell you what he should be known as king of drama and intrigue. I am yet to see rear window. I’ve heard a lot about it. What’s remarkable in vertigo is that it doesn’t take you by surprise and nothing is hid from the audience. ‘I don’t believe in suspense like a mystery novel where the reader gets to the last page out of curiosity and does not go through emotions.’- Hitchcock
8. Inception/The dark knight
Dir:Christopher Nolan
'Don't talk like you're one of them! You're not... even if you'd like to be. To them you're just a freak, like me. They need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out. Like a leper. See, their morals, their "code"... it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these uh, these "civilized people", they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve'
Excuse me people, I’d like to direct your attention towards the most original, and innovative, and probably the best director of modern times. Mr. Christopher Nolan.
The dark Knight or Inception, The dark Knight or Inception. These were the thought going into my head, although I agree that dark knight was more complete movie than inception. With breath taking performances from Heath Ledger
7. Forest Gump
Directed By Robert Zemeckis
A man who’s IQ is 75, doesn’t understand war but becomes a part of it, wins medal of honour, all of a sudden realizes he has tremendous running skills, enters white house 3 times, becomes a major shareholder, and not for a single moment you would ask for justification. Tom hanks plays the most endearing character, so much so that I am tempted to say it’s a godly performance from him.
6. Raging bull
Dir: Martin Scorsese
Here comes the dude of all time, Robert Deniro. And another dude of all time Joe Pesci and another dude of all time Martin Scorsese. They get together and create Raging Bull, Casino and goodfellas. Raging bull is a cult classic directed by my favorite. Its an incredible movie. It’s a story of a boxer who is raw and talented but then turns into a self obsessed, paranoid man who loses everything but his pride. The depiction of boxer LaMotta and then of a retired corpulent boxer is amazingly portrayed by Robert Deniro. Since films release varying interpretations have been made of the way it’s been shot and it symbolism. Here the monologue by deniro sitting in front of the mirror.
5. Schindler’s list
Dir: Steven Spielberg
Dark, sobering and also invigoratingly dramatic,’Schindler’s list’ will make terrifying sense to anyone, anywhere.-N.Y.Times. That sort of sums it up. I have personally liked everything that the man has made The Jurassic series, jaws, minority report, Indiana jones, the terminal. There is no doubt that he is best director in the industry. A businessman comes to war spoiled Poland and becomes a super hero. It’s haunting and heroic at the same time. Tremendous camara angles, the real looks even more real. Spielberg’s best work till date.
4. Annie hall
Dir: Woody Allen
Annie: ‘That’s so clean out here.’
Alvy: ‘that’s because they don’t throw their garbage away, they turn it into Television shows.’
‘Don’t you see the rest of the country looks upon New-York like, we are left wing, communists, jewish, homosexuals, pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.’
Clever and classic, I read it’s screenplay before I saw the movie, and I was blown away. What’s extraordinary is that how your cheeks and stomach hurt out of laughing so much. Its satirical, irreverent and real. Alvy singer played by Allen says, ‘I’d never belong to a club that would have me as member.’ Which simply means, how you can expect the society to accept you when you cannot accept yourself ?
3. The godfather
Dir: Francis Ford Coppola
One day Mario Puzo, Francis Ford Coppola and Marlon Brando got together to indulge in a project that will keep multitudes of filmmakers intrigued and fascinated over generations at the greatness of their work. In the movie nothing is what it seems. War of mafia families, double crosses, standing by your family, standing by your word. That’s the heart of the movie. It’s innovative and riveting the way the killing have been shot. It sets a benchmark for compelling storytelling. It’s needless to say it’s more than a mafia film.
If you want to learn film-making, watch it, and watch it again, and watch it over and over again.
2. China town
Dir: Roman Polanski
Why is china town rated better than godfather, you want to ask? Because china town is original, that’s your answer. Flawless. Flaw-less, I have to say it again.. Not even a singe error. Thrilling, intriguing, shocking, high voltage drama. Roman Polanski takes a detective story and turns into brilliance. Mr. J.J. Gittes, played magnificently by Jack Nicholson is a detective trying to solve infidelity cases and stumbles on a case where drinking water is going to be drawn out of LA and then as plot reveals itself, turns into much more complex drama, as the major conflicts grow deeper, a more darker secret would unveils, that will be as shocking a the word. The controversial climax is an act of bravery and takes the movie to a insurmountable heights.
1. The Shawshank Redemption
Written and directed by : Frank Darabont
Rating: Beyond 5 stars
‘Remember, Red, hope is a good thing, may be the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.’
‘I have no idea to this day what they were
Aah… can’t say a word. It’s beyond words. Beyond description. A triumph . . . Ineffable . . . Hope, our biggest strength, which give us faith and belief , hope, that makes you wake up every morning, with a belief that you can be what you can to be… Beautifully written, perhaps the best written scripts ever. A masterpiece that captures the drama of friendship, resilience and hope.
Screw Oscars for not voting for it. The movie has encapsulating moments. When red, Morgan freeman searches the fields for Andy’s, Tim Robbins, and what he finds under the stone, that scene will make your blood scream into your veins, and your body will explode with emotion, and your heart will be filled with joy.
'I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't wanna know. Some things are best left unsaid. I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful it can't be expressed in words, and it makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you those voices soared, higher and farther than anybody in a grey place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made these walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free.'
‘Fear can hold you prisoner, hope can set you free.’
My favorites but missed my list
10. Closer
9. King Kong
8. Tropic thuder
7. Pulp fiction
6. Rainman
5. The Aviator,
4. The Pursuit of Happiness
3. Philadelphia
2. Little miss sunshine
1. Taxi driver
Top ten Horror movies of all time
It’s a genre that hasn’t hat too much respect from the Industry nor from festivals and awards, But I believe it’s the most exiting genre of movies. No body likes being scared but we still want to do things that scare us, we want to get out adrenalin pumping. It’s such a rush, I tell you. Two weeks ago I saw 40 minutes of The Shining and it was chilling, I couldn’t see it because my friend was too scared to watch anymore, so it couldn’t make the list.
10. Friday the 13
9. The omen
8. The Texas chainsaw massacare
7. Hellraiser
6. The exorcism of Emily rose
5. A nightmare of Elm Street
4. Grudge
3. The silence of the lambs
2. The sixth sense
1. Paranormal Activities
My favorites but missed my list
5. The ring
4. Jeepers creepers
3. The exorcist
2. SAW
1. The orphan
Top 10 super hero movies
10.The incredable hulk
9.Batman returns
8.X-men origins
7.Superman returns
6.Batman begins
5.X-2
4.Batman
3.Iron Man
2.King kong
1.The dark night
My favorite movies but missed my list
My favorites are in the list, so to speak. Sorry guys. Spiderman is not a movie. It’s something you do when you have nothing else to do.
Top ten animation movies of all time
It all started with Ducktales and Mowgali, story that had griiping storyline and tremendous fun, and all the following movies are equally good as any non-animation movies, if not better. How some animated characters have the ability to make you cry laugh and wonder at genius.
10. Shrek
9. Cars
8. Kung Fu Panda
7. Finding Nemo
6. The Incredibles
5. Wall-E
4. Madagascar
3. Toy Story 1
2. Toy story 2
1. Toy story 3
Top ten Romcoms
My apologies to Mr. woody allen for not having seen Hannah and her sisters and Manhattan and also to My big fat Greek wedding, As good as it gets, and Scent of a woman. I am pretty sure some of them would have made it to the list.
10. One fine day
9. Along came polly
8. The break up
7. P.S. I love you
6. Bridget jones diary
5. love actually
4. Serendipity
4. Moulin rouge
3. Shakespeare in love
2. Pretty woman
1. Sleepless in Seatle
My favorite movies but missed my list
10. tom cruise canaroon diaz
9. Emma
8. The Duke
7. No stings attached
6. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
5. Four wedding a and a funeral
4. Runaway bride
3. 50 first dates
2. French kiss
1. When harry met sally
Top 10 bollywood movies of all time
Every attempt that I made to get to the ‘best’ movies of all time and not ‘my’ favorite movies of all time has endeavored to arrive at modification and thereafter some more modifications until I came to a point where I couldn’t decide, because how can I make the list without having seen Pyasa, Kagaz ke phool, Sahib bibi aur ghulam, Madhumati, Awaara, Salaam Bombay, Satyakam and Ardhsatya. What’s worse is that I have seen bits of each and they are brilliant.
My apologies to Mr. Ray, I know you’ve won an Oscar but I can’t include your movies in the hindi language category, which makes my job easier. It really pains not to include Mother India, Pakeezah, Mera Naam Joker. It’s a pity that Bollywood cinema is still known as just song and dance, let’s send them this list. Shall we?
.
10. lage raho munnabhai
Dir: Raj Kumar Hirani
Remove the songs and I’ll put you couple of steps further. Coming From the best Director of modern time Raju Hirani. This really transpired that you don’t need big complex, intriguing drama to become a cult classic. He is possibly the worst director as far as cinematography is concerned, but who’s complaining. If your movies grosses 450 crores in four weeks(recall 3 Idiots), you’ve got to have talent. I call him the Hrishikesh Mukhejee of modern time. In this movie he maks you laugh and cry every 5 minutes. This surpassed it’s prequel that in itself was a cult.
9. Dil Chahta hai
Dir: Farhaan Akhtar
Brave. Path-breaking. Revolutionary, World cinema . . . I have seen it seven times and now after ten years I have even more respect for it because lot of directors tried to re-create the same effect but failed miserably. And it still continues to inspire filmmakers. An actor who had zero style content, Aamir khan, became a school of cool. Saf ali khan made a living out of that movie, and India accepted a beautiful love story between a young boy and a middle aged lady. That was what Farhan Akhtar created with his first movie.
8. Masoom
Dir : Shekhar Kapoor
His first movie and possibly the worse as far a technicality is concerned. But after this he would go on to make Mr India and Elizabeth. With great music by R.D. Burman. It is one of the most loving movies of all time. It’s a sweet movie revolving around a boy rahul played by jugal hansraj. There are heart wrenching scenes in the movie. It has awe-inspiring performances by Naseer and Shabana. It’s a movie with a heart and a soul. All the actors have done an outstanding role in movie.
7. Maqbool
Dir: Vishal Bhardwaj
Pure magic.... In every sense of the word . . . Vishal Bhardwaz is india’s tarrentino, screw tarentino, he is way better than tarrentino. Best adapted screenplay ever written in india. He is a director of class, and a brilliant dialogue writer. Adapted from Macbeth, the story is put into an Indian mafia family. Vishal bhardwaz does a brilliant job at the Back ground score of the movie. It has legendary performance by Tabbu . I can’t believe the same guy made 7 Khoon Maaf, his worst effort till date. Here is the first scene of Omkara, where langda tyagi says….
‘Chutia aur bewkoof me dhaage bhar ke farak, dhaage ke engee chutia aur ongee bewkoof. Aur jo dhaaga khench lo toh kon chutia aur kon bewkoof sau karor ka prasan. Par tu toh bewkoof hega, chutia toh aadmi shaadi ke baad howe hai, aur teri toh shaadi honi ni.’
6. Guide
Dir: Vijay Anand
Guide has beaten Sisila, Lamhe, Choti si baat, and arth to get this place. A story written by india’s greatest writer ever R K Narayan. This movie is a masterpiece. ‘Man does not die it is only the body that dies the soul remains forever.’ This is the last dialogue of the movie. It was set to be partly english and partly hindi movie to be produced by an indo-american venture but due to differences it was postponed and later dropped then vijay anand stepped in to direct.
5. Black Friday
Dir: Anuraag Kasyap
2006, enter Anurag kashyap to change Bollywood cinema forever. You send this movie to Oscars and it will win an award straight away. Bsed on 93 bomb blast in Mumbai, this was banned for 2 years because the case was under litigation, and they though this movie will influence people or perhaps cause riots or something. Mature as our governments are this is not surprising. A real story told in the most gripping style possible. Woderful performance from K.K Menon and other less renowned actors. This movie is a gem, better than Satya, and Parzania.
4. Jaane bhi do yaroon
Dir: Kundan Shah
‘Kisi desh ki unnati ki pehchan agar kisi cheeze se hoti hai toh wo hai gutter, wo gutter ke liye jiye aur gutter kr liye mare. Marte Marte unke Akhari shabd the, ‘gutter.’
‘mujhe pata hai aapki aankho me kya hai…ek model banane ka sapna…aur inko dekho ye jab hamare studio me aayi thi toh burqa pehen ke aayi thi’
Innovative, satirical, intriguing, sharp, breathless, and hillarios. When I first saw this I couldn’t stop laughing. But on a broader sense, I realized it was much more than a laugh riot, death of morality, succumbing to hunger, This is, one of those movies that’s weak in every department of film-making and yet never ceases to amaze you. . . A god of cult.
‘Theher papi!! theher! Mein teri zubaam khich lunga!!
‘Abe shaant! Gadadhari bhim!shaant!’
‘adharmi papi tera satyanash ho!’
‘maine vastraharan ka idea drop kar diya hai’
‘abe kaun hai be tu?’
‘aankho se agyaan ki patti utaar ke dekh!’
‘oye dhitarastra ke putar! Dropadi ko wasp kar vo mere saath jayegi!’
‘oye dropadi tere akele ki nai hai!ham sab shareholders hai!’
‘oye chal oye, paalan toh hamne kabhi apne baap ki agya ka bhi nai kiya!’
‘oye chup oye arjun singh!, ye le, tere dhanush ban ki toh!’
‘shaant! gadadhari bhim shaant!’
‘Thehro! Thehro! Thehro!’
‘nalayak!adharmi!durachari!somethingchaari!brashtachaari!bolo sorry! Apne sasur ko nahi jaanta main hu dropadi ka baap!’
‘jai ho! Jai ho ! jai ho !’
3. Lagaan
Dir: Ashutosh gawarikar
Do I really need to say anything about it? Cinema that changed the way west looked at us. A movie that gave way to new ideologies, new beliefs . I love the treatment of the movie. What’s amazing is that you knew the villagers’ are goanna win it, you knew no matter what? Bhuwan’s gonna hit that six of the last ball. You knew it will be another underdog story with a triumphant climax, but still the journey of 3.5 hours was worth it. Probably the best movie in last 25 years. I really think it should have won in the foreign language category, all A-listers of Hollywood voted for it, except the jury.Ha.
2. Anand
Dir: Hrishikesh Mukerjee
'Life should be big not long.'
‘ babumoshay, jindaga aur maut uparwale ke hath hai jahapana, jise na aap badalsakte hai na mein. hum sab to rangmanch ki katputlia hai, jiski door uparwale ke haath bandhi hai KAB KAUN KAISE UTHEGA YE KOI NAHI JANTA.'
Sometimes cost of happiness costs us happiness. It doesn’t always help to know it all, have it all, because you are as happy as you want to be. And the best way to be happy is to share it, just as Hrishikesh Mukerjee shared it then, as I am sharing it now.
Here is our response to ‘It’s a wonderful life.’ I was heartbroken when I first saw this. But this movie teaches you a lesson that life is beautiful and it is for living. Without a shadow of a doubt hrishikesh Mukherjee is one of the finest storytellers of all time, with movies like Chupke chupke, Golmaal, Abhimaan, Bawarchi and Satyakam, But as far as I am concerned Anand is his best film.
1. Mughl-E-Azam
Year: 1960
Dir: k. Asif
Budget: 1,50,00,000($3,000,000)
In the year 1960, something incredible happened, an eccentric man made the Eight wonder of the world, a movie that will break all the records in movies costs and also set the box office on fire, making it worth every minute of the nine years it took to make it.
It brought grandeur on the screen, lavish sets, renowned craftsmen from delhi and surat came to stitch costumes for the movie, jewelry that Madhubala wore were made of pure gold and diamonds, a battle sequence was shot with 2000 camels, 4000 horses, and 8000 troops, soldiers were taken on loan from Indian army. It had meticulous performances form Dilip Kumar, Prithviraj Kapoor and Madhubala.
The greatest Mughal Emreror, Akbar would pray for his successor and on hearing the birth of his son promise his maid who brought the news, a wish, whose daughter, Anarkali and his son, Salim would fall hopelessly in love which the empreror will despise, however, despite his protestations salim, in order to get his love, would fight a colossal battle with his father, only to lose and to be death sentenced along with Anarkali. That is when the maid, Anarkali’s mother will exercise her wish to save her daughters life, who will be secretly transported outside the kingdom. The Emperor out of love for his son would tell him that Anarkali has been killed to get his son back. And both the lovers will live a life of longing and separation. A tale of jealousy, love, honour, trust, betrayal and a promise.
My favorite movies but missed my list
1. Don (Amitabh Bachhan)
2. Rang de basanti
3. Andaaz apna apna
4. Arth
5. Omkara
6. Swades
7. Silsila
8. Satya
9. Deewar
10. Sholey
Epilogue: What are movies ? A way to tell stories Or an Ambiguity ? Why do we like movies? Is what played before us real ? Of course, it’s not ? The actors are, but the behavior isn’t ? There are explosions, people are getting killed, there’s a boy in love with the girl, men turn into lovers and psychos. It’s all fiction, and we know it, then why do we go through pain, and anger, and happiness and fear while watching them . . . Because it’s us, and when we watch it, we become part of it, the real we, not the one living in the society but the one that is only known to us. The one who feels bad when goodness is tormented, ideologies are killed, righteousness is played, and feels good when the good wins over the evil. That’s why we love movies, as Hitchcock said, when a painter draws a painting of apples and trees, he is not interested in the apples or trees but he wants the audience to go through certain emotions while seeing them, that’s what cinemas do.
A simple act of pretence becomes real, that’s the power of movies.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
This will sweep you off the floor!
Title: Midnight’s children
Author: Salman Rushdie
First Published In: Britain 1981
Rating: 5 Stars
Midnight’s children: The best book I’ve ever read and perhaps, ever would . . . When I began reading this book I was surprisingly overwhelmed by the cleverness with which the prose was carried out. The writing exuded wit, and his amusing description got me cracking with the word go. It’s so brilliantly written that it is all set to reduce to rubble my reading experience, for I know other books will look utterly ordinary in the absence of the riveting style that Rushdie has deluged me with.
This is a demanding book, and probably a little too complex, but once I was drawn into the plot I found it rather easy to discern the characters and their motives. Saleem Sinai, the protagonist, born at the stroke of midnight at the precise moment of India’s independence narrates his biography in the most spell-binding and entertaining style, if there ever was one. The narration goes back and forth on more occasions than you’d imagine and it’s unnecessary to say that the author has set the benchmark for non-linear storytelling. Every page takes you by surprise, each sentence is magically written, as if devised for perfection; it has transgressed beyond the boundaries of imagination.
Although, initially, after completing few chapters, it looked as if the author is trying to persuade me into believing his version of a tale that, at that point in time seemed unbelievable, later on as the sub-plots unfurled and began to tie themselves with significant events, I didn’t bother questioning. Saleem, narrating his story to his lady love Padma, begins his story in the most uncanny way possible, which goes way before his birth, in a startling depiction of faiths and beliefs of the bygone era of pre-independence, who, born with a weird and snotty nose, at a very young age, after an accident, acquires telepathic powers to connect with other midnight’s children and after a forceful drainage of the snotnose attains a strange ability to sniff out thoughts and dangers that others can’t perceive, finds himself in the middle of two India-Pakistan wars, bearing the life, as fate would take him, into different worlds, one in a mansion and other in a slum. That’s about as much as I can give out, unlike an Indian movie review. So I must stop. And that’s that. It’s as much a journey of Saleem and his inner and outer conflicts as it is of India. Because his fate is inextricably entwined with India.
What begins as a random read turns and takes you in a world where you don’t want to return from. What’s extraordinary is that, for a book of such gigantic proportions (647 pages, paperback), you wouldn’t want the narrator to stop. Seldom in the history does a book come along that has the power to enthrall the reader and takes him into a captivating joyride to the moon, and keep him there; so when he looks down at the earth from there, everything, including Himalayas, appears miniscule. Rushdie is my god of writing . . .
Read it for its originality, for its grandiloquent prose, for its unrestrained candor, for its stunning perspicacity, for its absorbing plot, for India’s convoluted history, for the awe-inspiring read that you’ve denied yourself so far.
Author: Salman Rushdie
First Published In: Britain 1981
Rating: 5 Stars
Midnight’s children: The best book I’ve ever read and perhaps, ever would . . . When I began reading this book I was surprisingly overwhelmed by the cleverness with which the prose was carried out. The writing exuded wit, and his amusing description got me cracking with the word go. It’s so brilliantly written that it is all set to reduce to rubble my reading experience, for I know other books will look utterly ordinary in the absence of the riveting style that Rushdie has deluged me with.
This is a demanding book, and probably a little too complex, but once I was drawn into the plot I found it rather easy to discern the characters and their motives. Saleem Sinai, the protagonist, born at the stroke of midnight at the precise moment of India’s independence narrates his biography in the most spell-binding and entertaining style, if there ever was one. The narration goes back and forth on more occasions than you’d imagine and it’s unnecessary to say that the author has set the benchmark for non-linear storytelling. Every page takes you by surprise, each sentence is magically written, as if devised for perfection; it has transgressed beyond the boundaries of imagination.
Although, initially, after completing few chapters, it looked as if the author is trying to persuade me into believing his version of a tale that, at that point in time seemed unbelievable, later on as the sub-plots unfurled and began to tie themselves with significant events, I didn’t bother questioning. Saleem, narrating his story to his lady love Padma, begins his story in the most uncanny way possible, which goes way before his birth, in a startling depiction of faiths and beliefs of the bygone era of pre-independence, who, born with a weird and snotty nose, at a very young age, after an accident, acquires telepathic powers to connect with other midnight’s children and after a forceful drainage of the snotnose attains a strange ability to sniff out thoughts and dangers that others can’t perceive, finds himself in the middle of two India-Pakistan wars, bearing the life, as fate would take him, into different worlds, one in a mansion and other in a slum. That’s about as much as I can give out, unlike an Indian movie review. So I must stop. And that’s that. It’s as much a journey of Saleem and his inner and outer conflicts as it is of India. Because his fate is inextricably entwined with India.
What begins as a random read turns and takes you in a world where you don’t want to return from. What’s extraordinary is that, for a book of such gigantic proportions (647 pages, paperback), you wouldn’t want the narrator to stop. Seldom in the history does a book come along that has the power to enthrall the reader and takes him into a captivating joyride to the moon, and keep him there; so when he looks down at the earth from there, everything, including Himalayas, appears miniscule. Rushdie is my god of writing . . .
Read it for its originality, for its grandiloquent prose, for its unrestrained candor, for its stunning perspicacity, for its absorbing plot, for India’s convoluted history, for the awe-inspiring read that you’ve denied yourself so far.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Why aren't we happy ?
For several months now, I am pursued by a question. It’s a question all of us have, may be not all of us, but most of us. Alright. Some of us. Fine! Just me. Okay.
. . . So the question is. ‘Why aren’t we happy? What do we want? Why is the other guy always lucky? And why isn’t everything fair? Where is this righteous indignation coming from?’
Right then, you think this subject’s appealing? No? Not even a little? What are you thinking then? ‘What has gone into this guy’s head?’ There! That’s what you are thinking. Well, actually, for a moment, I thought of it too. Okay. Enough now. I must begin, before I am too tired and before you lose interest . . .
Happiness, a term none of us know the real meaning of and yet we search for it all our lives. So what exactly is it? It’s the thing that makes you eat noodles and coffee with friends while you are driving at eighty kilometers per hour at two at night. It’s the thing that makes you take a pleasant hot bath, makes you spend millions at your wardrobe, makes you buy a Ferrari, makes you slog at your job, makes you propose the girl who’s way beyond your league, and makes you spend two goddamn hours writing an article that nobody’s interested in reading.
We want to be happy through external sources, like shopping, dining out, buying a car, etcetera. It’s amazing how people very proudly say, ‘I was feeling low so I needed couple of drinks.’ Yeah. You must. Of course. Why not. That’s your tranquillizer. Isn’t it?
As you must’ve heard, happiness comes from within, not from buying a car; clearly we are incapable of feeling good about ourselves so we need a car to do it, for the focus is on what I have, not on what I am. We are pretty much stuck at ‘what we have’ crap, and so much so that our whole sense of being collapses at the endeavors of buying that car, which is supposed to make us feel happy. Money, in a sense, has become this symbolic measure of our importance in the society. But as Shiv khera puts it, yes, money is important. It buys medicines and food. But it cannot buy health and appetite. It can buy house not home, a bed not sleep, books but not wisdom, a clock but not more time, companions but not friends, finery but not beauty, a ring not marriage, amusements not happiness . . . Stop! If this article’s making you ponder the meaning of life, or making you belittle the value of your priced possession, or making you gnash with fuming vehemence at the shoddiness of my language. Stop here.
Wow! You are still reading it. Aren’t you? But if you are anything like me, you are not
reading it at all, you are just skimping through the lines. And by now, you are probably done with you routine curses and swearing in at least three languages at the enchantment of this post. I, however, not considering of your burgeoning boredom, will drift into some more....Abe Lincon once remarked that ‘most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.’ I have seen happy, smiling faces among the poor underprivileged children soiled in mud and seen grimaces on the faces of highly educated people sitting in the air-conditioned corner cabins in their office. There is nothing that’s happy or sad but our thinking makes it so. Your possessions will surely bring you happiness while it’s new but when the newness of that new product wears off dullness arises, and then you go on another quest for happiness. Therefore, let’s follow Abe Lincon’s advice for some time, right now you are reading this and you are probably buying it too, although, I don’t know any more about happiness than I know about the sexual orientation of a humming bee. But you are reading it, because you’ve told yourself to read it, and your mind follows your orders, initially it may resist a bit but eventually it will give in like a dumped guy at a cheap bar.
‘Alright, that’s enough!’ You are screaming this, right? Okay, may be, not screaming, that’s going a little overboard. And being a sophisticated breed you are probably just thinking of this. But you still want to read it, because at the bottom of it you know its philosophical or perhaps even true, or because I have tagged you, or because you have time, whatever. And oddly enough, I am not finished yet.
Become wise not rich. We are not seeking wisdom, we just want ‘comfort me comfort me.’ . . . The idea is to be content with what you’ve got. I mean a glass wouldn’t crave for more water if it is full to the brim. Disappointment comes from expectation, when we do not get what we expected, we feel bad because we are not ready for a different outcome than what we expected, and that’s when frustration and depression take birth. We are always looking for satisfaction, which is an extremely misunderstood concept. So, for the time, therefore, allow me to launce into my explanation of the word ‘Satisfaction.’ Where does satisfaction come from? From fulfillment of wants and desires. And what is satisfaction? The end of wants and desires. So the best way to be satisfied is not to have desires. Right? And if you don’t have desires, you don’t have anything to look forward to. No hopes. No dreams. Nothing to work for. Then what’s the purpose of living.
Enough philosophizing: and if for some bizarre reason you’ve made it this far, pat your back first, and then, let me make my point. I am not telling you to abandon the pleasures of life. Why must I drive you to accept that you’ll never be satisfied? I am, however, trying to say that our sources of happiness were are and going to depend on material things. And there is nothing unlawful in it, but, we must not forget that the real happiness will come from within and we can’t change it. So here comes the moral; if we have money, we should enjoy it. And if we don’t, we can still enjoy. We can still be alive. We can still be happy.
Thank you for you time and patience; and my hat, wherever that may be, is off to you.
. . . So the question is. ‘Why aren’t we happy? What do we want? Why is the other guy always lucky? And why isn’t everything fair? Where is this righteous indignation coming from?’
Right then, you think this subject’s appealing? No? Not even a little? What are you thinking then? ‘What has gone into this guy’s head?’ There! That’s what you are thinking. Well, actually, for a moment, I thought of it too. Okay. Enough now. I must begin, before I am too tired and before you lose interest . . .
Happiness, a term none of us know the real meaning of and yet we search for it all our lives. So what exactly is it? It’s the thing that makes you eat noodles and coffee with friends while you are driving at eighty kilometers per hour at two at night. It’s the thing that makes you take a pleasant hot bath, makes you spend millions at your wardrobe, makes you buy a Ferrari, makes you slog at your job, makes you propose the girl who’s way beyond your league, and makes you spend two goddamn hours writing an article that nobody’s interested in reading.
We want to be happy through external sources, like shopping, dining out, buying a car, etcetera. It’s amazing how people very proudly say, ‘I was feeling low so I needed couple of drinks.’ Yeah. You must. Of course. Why not. That’s your tranquillizer. Isn’t it?
As you must’ve heard, happiness comes from within, not from buying a car; clearly we are incapable of feeling good about ourselves so we need a car to do it, for the focus is on what I have, not on what I am. We are pretty much stuck at ‘what we have’ crap, and so much so that our whole sense of being collapses at the endeavors of buying that car, which is supposed to make us feel happy. Money, in a sense, has become this symbolic measure of our importance in the society. But as Shiv khera puts it, yes, money is important. It buys medicines and food. But it cannot buy health and appetite. It can buy house not home, a bed not sleep, books but not wisdom, a clock but not more time, companions but not friends, finery but not beauty, a ring not marriage, amusements not happiness . . . Stop! If this article’s making you ponder the meaning of life, or making you belittle the value of your priced possession, or making you gnash with fuming vehemence at the shoddiness of my language. Stop here.
Wow! You are still reading it. Aren’t you? But if you are anything like me, you are not
reading it at all, you are just skimping through the lines. And by now, you are probably done with you routine curses and swearing in at least three languages at the enchantment of this post. I, however, not considering of your burgeoning boredom, will drift into some more....Abe Lincon once remarked that ‘most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.’ I have seen happy, smiling faces among the poor underprivileged children soiled in mud and seen grimaces on the faces of highly educated people sitting in the air-conditioned corner cabins in their office. There is nothing that’s happy or sad but our thinking makes it so. Your possessions will surely bring you happiness while it’s new but when the newness of that new product wears off dullness arises, and then you go on another quest for happiness. Therefore, let’s follow Abe Lincon’s advice for some time, right now you are reading this and you are probably buying it too, although, I don’t know any more about happiness than I know about the sexual orientation of a humming bee. But you are reading it, because you’ve told yourself to read it, and your mind follows your orders, initially it may resist a bit but eventually it will give in like a dumped guy at a cheap bar.
‘Alright, that’s enough!’ You are screaming this, right? Okay, may be, not screaming, that’s going a little overboard. And being a sophisticated breed you are probably just thinking of this. But you still want to read it, because at the bottom of it you know its philosophical or perhaps even true, or because I have tagged you, or because you have time, whatever. And oddly enough, I am not finished yet.
Become wise not rich. We are not seeking wisdom, we just want ‘comfort me comfort me.’ . . . The idea is to be content with what you’ve got. I mean a glass wouldn’t crave for more water if it is full to the brim. Disappointment comes from expectation, when we do not get what we expected, we feel bad because we are not ready for a different outcome than what we expected, and that’s when frustration and depression take birth. We are always looking for satisfaction, which is an extremely misunderstood concept. So, for the time, therefore, allow me to launce into my explanation of the word ‘Satisfaction.’ Where does satisfaction come from? From fulfillment of wants and desires. And what is satisfaction? The end of wants and desires. So the best way to be satisfied is not to have desires. Right? And if you don’t have desires, you don’t have anything to look forward to. No hopes. No dreams. Nothing to work for. Then what’s the purpose of living.
Enough philosophizing: and if for some bizarre reason you’ve made it this far, pat your back first, and then, let me make my point. I am not telling you to abandon the pleasures of life. Why must I drive you to accept that you’ll never be satisfied? I am, however, trying to say that our sources of happiness were are and going to depend on material things. And there is nothing unlawful in it, but, we must not forget that the real happiness will come from within and we can’t change it. So here comes the moral; if we have money, we should enjoy it. And if we don’t, we can still enjoy. We can still be alive. We can still be happy.
Thank you for you time and patience; and my hat, wherever that may be, is off to you.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Exams ! ! !
Sensing my unusual delirium, I begin my hypothesis of exams (exams! there's a cruel word, if you like) . . . while throng of boys and girls, with tilak, sandal wood paste daubed on their forehead, in between eyebrows, with books in their hands, riffling out pages, gathered in the middle of peak summer, reeking of sweat and nervousness to appear for, what it looked like from their faces, perhaps the most important exam of their lives, I, stood desultorily in bewilderment, with my friend who is as screwed up as I am, except he is capable of undressing women with only his eyes and whose business was to tell me which of the girls had the biggest of boobs or a perfect ass. And after the exam when we came out we were faced with paparazzi, only they didn't have cameras and they were parents, answering their own questions . . . "how was the paper? Was it easy? How did you guys do? Well no? Everybody did well? "Blah! Blah! I don’t give a shit about papers, I am lucky to be alive. Go get a life, codgers!
So what's it like? . . . Piece of shit! No, wait. It’s worse than that; it's like a pile of shit, with you in it. Enrolling for CA was the second biggest mistake of my life; the first one was when I fell for an Australian girl at the age of 13. Then, I fell into the trap of a pretty face and blonde hair; and this time too I fell into the trap, but of a longer title before my name: Chartered Accountant. Longer the title shittier (and that's a word) the course. They make it sound really professional and everything, but it's basically just high quality trash. I mean, it's the kind of stuff that makes you wanna fart in an aluminum foil and smell it . . . It’s going to take five years of your youth and you will, if you are lucky, end up with a job(if you pass, that is, which is going to take like a thousand years for me)
Once the exams are over, you are either recovering from an annihilating shock or preparing for another shock. Between the exams and the results you don’t know what to do, not that you did before, but this time it's different, I call it the pre-depression phase, the lull before the storm kinda stuff. Being a ca student comes with lots of gifts such as ability to, use a calculator, interpret financial statements (that nobody else is interested in doing), along with a few piffling medical problems such as hypertension, insomnia, schizophrenia. It has in itself become some kind of a disease, I say; I have a headache and people go . . . Oh! Exams coming no? It happens. I have high blood pressure . . . exam pressure right? It happens. One day I'll die of aneurism, blowing my temples, spouting blood from my mouth, and people will say he was a CA final student, after all, it happens . . .
. . . Everything in this world has a story, and every story has a moral, this one here, has one too. Last Sunday I went to Eden Gardens to see a game between KKR and Mumbai Indians, KKR played wonderful cricket only to loose on the last ball where they got hit for a six. So the moral goes like this: No matter how well you do, you can still get screwed at the very last moment, and no matter how bad you do, you can still end up winning. Exams are a bit like that, I suppose. You have to predict the unpredictable, conceive the inconceivable, and outdo the outdoers.
So what's it like? . . . Piece of shit! No, wait. It’s worse than that; it's like a pile of shit, with you in it. Enrolling for CA was the second biggest mistake of my life; the first one was when I fell for an Australian girl at the age of 13. Then, I fell into the trap of a pretty face and blonde hair; and this time too I fell into the trap, but of a longer title before my name: Chartered Accountant. Longer the title shittier (and that's a word) the course. They make it sound really professional and everything, but it's basically just high quality trash. I mean, it's the kind of stuff that makes you wanna fart in an aluminum foil and smell it . . . It’s going to take five years of your youth and you will, if you are lucky, end up with a job(if you pass, that is, which is going to take like a thousand years for me)
Once the exams are over, you are either recovering from an annihilating shock or preparing for another shock. Between the exams and the results you don’t know what to do, not that you did before, but this time it's different, I call it the pre-depression phase, the lull before the storm kinda stuff. Being a ca student comes with lots of gifts such as ability to, use a calculator, interpret financial statements (that nobody else is interested in doing), along with a few piffling medical problems such as hypertension, insomnia, schizophrenia. It has in itself become some kind of a disease, I say; I have a headache and people go . . . Oh! Exams coming no? It happens. I have high blood pressure . . . exam pressure right? It happens. One day I'll die of aneurism, blowing my temples, spouting blood from my mouth, and people will say he was a CA final student, after all, it happens . . .
. . . Everything in this world has a story, and every story has a moral, this one here, has one too. Last Sunday I went to Eden Gardens to see a game between KKR and Mumbai Indians, KKR played wonderful cricket only to loose on the last ball where they got hit for a six. So the moral goes like this: No matter how well you do, you can still get screwed at the very last moment, and no matter how bad you do, you can still end up winning. Exams are a bit like that, I suppose. You have to predict the unpredictable, conceive the inconceivable, and outdo the outdoers.
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