The fullest monty ever

Talking about the times when India wasn't busy with the 3g.

India has reached 1.21 billion as per census 2011 just a wee bit less than China(if you are going to trust government figures, that is) which is thrice our size.

And we thought cricket was our favorite sport.

After having celebrated 'baby making day' for like, forever, I am reminded of a quote . . .
Albert Einstein said: We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made. Indians love counting: Tendulkar's centuries, political scams, scandalous affairs etcetra. Turned out we liked counting so much that we are now 1.21 billion and still counting.

As the Bachhan family is very well helping Indian government's cause by making shows like 'Shaniwar ki raat Amitabh ke saath' but that isn't helping, it's just one day what about the rest of the week!
And when junior Bachhan came up with the Idea of making people busy with the 3g, it didn't work either. As I don't, however, see our government handing out free mobile phones to Indians because one of government officials said 'Mr Prime minister 3g provides faster internet people will download malicious stuff, then they get aroused, wrong strategy.'

One advice I gave Mr Manmohan Singh was to make Mr Suresh Kalmadi the chairman of Lokpal committee and give permission to every Indian to fast with Anna Hazare. When he did not listen to me I told him, 'at least make it mandatory for every Indian to appear for CA finals.' Or put up posters of Poonam Pandey in a campaign called, 'this is why you shouldn't have kids.'

I am thinking of making a sitcom on Indian population like the west like 'How I met you mother, however instead of naming it, 'how I met your mother,' we could name it . . . 'WHY I met your mother,' I think that will make more sense.

If you looked at us you wouldn't notice anything extraordinary that would suggest our prowess in cricket or . . . Other sports.
It's all our ancestor's fault. You see, if you remember. Then: women always covered their faces in veils, while forgetting to put the veil where they so desperately needed. And then you had unemployment and no electricity so people barely had anything to do at night, except showcase their machismo to tacit bhartiya naaris.

Apparently BMC has spent about 3.5 crore on sterilizing dogs. Extripation or castration is supposed to be the solution for many conduct related problems for male dogs.

So when Indira Gandhi did it they called it an emergency, quite a term, I say. Although, as a writer using such references are more potentially fatal than remotely entertaining. Thusly, I shall speak of that some other time.

Obviously, as the government has found out, the poor are the worry.
Because it's acceptable to point fingers at the poor than to spend money on educating them. Those starved won't even go on a fast to protest;food is all they are living for. Poor are kind, loving and wise in their own way. For them having their kids is a fortune, something that calls for cheerful celebration; to praise the moon of its various declensions and beauty is for us. They believe that a man can build a castle and not the other way around. For them: the child is their moon.

You see, in India, the poor have the obligation to remain poor so that they can sew, out of animal skin, boots that make your delicately precious legs incomparably pretty, so that they can clean city's dirt and sewer with their own hands after being robbed of their land for a corporate need of infrastructure and globalization. And certainly, their kids, he, who's mother was dried of milk when he was born because of malnutrition and his bare body which to you would look like it has been put together by a series of bones and a layer of discolored skin, his stomach, deformed of being callously unfed, and his eyes would look like holes in a mint leave, dried of tears for he can't shed any while looking at an ice cream, or whatever is left of it anyway, after the cone is thrown out of a car by a rosy cheeked kid who's parents call it an act of naughtiness.
And all this, of course, happens in a planet which can't survive without food.

I apologize if you find my sense of humour disgusting, or my sense of compassion appalling. Because we are talking about the poor and if there is something that can be done about population, that would be, as done earlier, to begin with castrating the poor one by one along with dogs, that is. You see, it is my long held belief that the poor don't deserve the right to nutritious food or access to education, or the right to even smile;and if someone happens to cross his limits, a BMW of a drunk rich lad will, of course, run him over by the time he is half way through his smile.

And I forthrightly approve of it inasmuch as his death doesn't change the fact that he still remained a poor or that his odor was awful or that he wasn't wearing clothes or looked ugly or he didn't have a house and his jute bag woven hut happens to be in the way of a speeding BMW or may be because the rich lad just . . . found him repulsive.

In the largest democracy in the world(for the privileged anyway) killing turned into shame before it turned befitting, so much so that they started to kill themselves the moment somebody used that vehement, terror-striking word:Democracy! I mean, look at farmers of Andhra Pradesh. Only if they had told the government that they had a bit of land. But again Commonwealth and 2g scams are enough money to quench their thirst for now.

Although writing this is as likely to help the problem of population as liking Anna Hazare's page on Facebook likely to eradicate corruption. There isn't much hope poking around my optimistic head you see.
This is India because One day Wasko Dagama landed in this place and called in India. This is India because some day someone named a pool of flowing water 'Indus river.'

Beside the indus river
Sits the greatest democracy ever.
Some call it the emerging dominion,
Some the cruelest hypocrisy ever.
Oh ! It is not baring it all yet.
It is Just the fullest monty ever."
-----------------------------------------------------------------